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Your Email Revenue is Falling - Do This

the best email you can send to your list today

The Ugly Email That's Making 7-Figures (And Why Your Pretty Designs Are Killing Sales)

Look, I'm about to tell you something that's going to hurt your designer's feelings, but it'll make your accountant very happy.

Those beautiful, branded emails you've been obsessing over? The ones with perfect color schemes and fancy graphics that look like they belong in a museum? They're probably tanking your sales.

Here's what actually works: The plain text email that looks like your friend wrote it at 2 AM after three cups of coffee.

The Pattern Interrupt That Actually Interrupts

Your customers are drowning in a sea of polished, corporate-looking emails. When everything looks the same, nothing stands out. But when you strip away all the bells and whistles and just... talk to people? That's when magic happens.

Think about the last email that made you actually stop scrolling. I guarantee it wasn't some fancy HTML masterpiece. It was probably a simple message that felt real, personal, and human.

The secret sauce? Break the pattern. When everyone else is zigging with their branded templates, you zag with authenticity.

The Founder's Name Game-Changer

Here's a move that most companies are too scared to try: Change your "from" name from your company to your founder's actual name.

Instead of "[email protected]," try "Sarah from YourCompany" or just "Sarah Johnson."

We do this with Aliett from FazitBeauty at least once a month, and it absolutely crushes every time. The open rates jump, the engagement goes through the roof, and more importantly – people actually respond like they're talking to a human being, not a faceless corporation.

Why does this work? Because people buy from people, not companies. When Aliett's name shows up in someone's inbox, it's not just another marketing email – it's a message from someone they've gotten to know through her content and brand story.

The Authenticity Advantage

Here's the thing about authenticity – you can't fake it, and people can smell BS from a mile away. Your customers are smart. They know when you're being real and when you're putting on a corporate costume.

In a world where AI can write perfect copy and designers can create flawless templates, the most valuable thing you can offer is genuine human connection. That means:

  • Writing like you actually talk

  • Sharing real stories (even the messy ones)

  • Admitting when you mess up

  • Showing behind-the-scenes moments that aren't Instagram-perfect

The Plain Text Formula That Works

Ready for the framework? Here's exactly how to structure your plain text emails:

Subject Line: Keep it conversational, not salesy. Think "quick question" or "this reminded me of you" instead of "LIMITED TIME OFFER!!!"

Opening: Start with something personal. Maybe it's what you're drinking, where you're writing from, or something that happened to you that day.

The Story: Share something real. A customer story, a behind-the-scenes moment, or even a mistake you made. Make it relatable.

The Connection: Bridge your story to your product or service naturally. Don't force it.

The Ask: Be direct but not pushy. "If this sounds like you, hit reply" works better than a fancy call-to-action button.

The Signature: Just your name. Maybe your title. That's it.

Why It Works (The Psychology Bit)

When someone opens your plain text email, their brain doesn't immediately go into "marketing defense mode." It looks personal, so they read it like a personal message. That extra second of attention is all you need to hook them with your story.

Plus, plain text emails are more likely to land in the primary inbox instead of the promotions tab. Gmail's algorithm sees all those images and fancy formatting as promotional content, but a simple text email? That looks like something a friend sent.

The Weekend Send Strategy

Here's why you should send this type of email on weekends: Your competition isn't. While everyone else is following the "Tuesday at 10 AM" playbook, you're sliding into inboxes when they're actually relaxed and have time to read.

Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons are goldmines for engagement. People are drinking coffee, scrolling leisurely, and actually have time to think about your message instead of rushing through their workday email avalanche.

The Real Results

When done right, these emails don't just perform better – they build actual relationships. People start replying to your emails like they're responding to a friend. They share your messages with others. They look forward to hearing from you.

That's the kind of engagement that turns into long-term customers, not just one-time buyers.

Your Action Plan

This weekend, try this:

  1. Write an email like you're texting a friend

  2. Change your from name to include your actual name

  3. Share something real that happened to you this week

  4. Connect it naturally to your product or service

  5. Hit send and watch what happens

Stop trying to look like everyone else. Start being yourself. In a world full of perfect marketing, imperfect authenticity wins every time.

Your customers don't need another polished sales pitch. They need to know there's a real human behind your brand who actually gives a damn about solving their problems.

Now go write that ugly email. Your bank account will thank you.

-Parker Burr

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